Things My Mind Wants My Heart To Know

A List Poem that traces the journey of self-discovery, realizations and hopes.

i. ‘I know you are not fragile.’

You don’t budge easily, you don’t let everyone climb inside the walls of your emotions. But sometimes, you’re vulnerable, you’re anxious and you let your guard down.

ii. ‘You love to talk through yourself.’

You love your ‘heart to heart(s)’ too much. You are a sucker for saintly human connections and look for this potential in every person you meet. (Read: Every person you meet doesn’t have it.)

iii. ‘You are a perfectionist’

You believe in the art of effort, in the art of giving your best. Human relationships, assignments,tests, events- you end up giving your everything to make things work and it breaks you a little if there’s even a minute error anywhere.

iv. ‘You let the goodness in people blindside you, sometimes.’

You’re still learning to evaluate the goodness and badness in people equally, you need to work harder. You should learn to acknowledge the badness, instead of overlooking it .You see, too much goodness is always too much badness in the end.

v. ‘I hate it when you fight with me.’

It was awful the last time we went at war; a mind and a heart fighting over the territory of a body full of questions, tears and inactivity. I kept reminding, you kept defying and then we gave up, together.

vi. ‘Sometimes, you have to believe things in order to see them.’

Instead of going round in circles, sit down and consider those possibilities.You might see hidden agendas unravel in front of you. Acceptance is a hard pill to swallow, very bitter , very harsh, but it gives you the peace you deserve. Silence lends the best answers.

vii. ‘I’m sorry.’

I’m sorry for being so naive.I’m sorry for directing the toxicity towards you. I’m sorry for ignoring the dark pits I always knew existed, and for still deciding to find light in them. I’m sorry, for jeopardizing you and for taking seven hundred and thirty days to realize my mistake.

viii. ‘You give so much.’

You have so much love inside of you, it bursts out like confetti and then you throw a party made out of your love. You end up inviting the wrong people sometimes; they draw so much love out of you that you’re left struggling for the last drops of self-love when they leave.
(Read: Stop. Doing. This.)

ix. ‘I know you hate changes.’

You resist changes as if they were repressive economic reforms. You crave for permanency and forevers as if they were chocolates, but you see, chocolates melt too. So every time you try to resist, you end up hurting yourself.
Change is the only constant, and very uncomfortable at first. But, it will dawn on you after seven hundred and thirty hours and you will be so grateful it happened.

x. ‘I love you.’

Multiplied by all the stars in the galaxy. I want you to feel valued, welcomed and content in yourself, by yourself. I want us to set our boundaries so concrete that no one dares to fool around them, carrying maliciousness in a basket, trying to make us feel as if we’re not good enough.
(Read: We are always enough.)

A WOMAN OF SILENCE

Abstract: Speech is God’s best and worst gift to mankind. While it represents our strength against evil and empowers us to fight for our rights, it sometimes endangers humans relationships- causing hearts to burn and sink. Sometimes, it is just silence that wins you the battle.

A weapon
tongue and the like,
invigorates you; empowers you in the crowd.
You are worshipped
for they can’t triumph
in your sickening game
of loud words
and mockery.

But it seems,
you’ve had your fifteen minutes of fame
for you still evade me,
convulse in my presence
and crumble.

I sit in the girl’s eyes.
My charisma showing
in her balmy pose.
I fight you with all my might ;
letting you uncoil,
aching your transient mastery.

Then,
like a master of bluff
I throw my trump card
engulfing
hollowing
and swallowing
every inch of you.
Rendering you voiceless
I kick you into blackness
and seize your existence.

Your demonic laughs and immoral references
corrupted the girl.
You broke her.
But
like a goddess of patience,
she took me in
for she knew
a game of harsh words
produces no winner ;
only two losers.
Now, she is my woman
the woman of SILENCE.